Listings

I'm going to try to keep a list of things Owen says, may not quite fit into his blog, but sill, stunningly youthful and often funny.

This weekend in the middle of a(n hour long) tantrum after asking for a glass of milk "I want nei nei to throw on the ground!" hmm, at least he was honest

Little things

A letter to my son,

Hey baby... okay I know you are a big boy now. I was walking across campus today with a crazy big grin... Diane and I used to call it "left-over laugh" thinking about your love for tiny things... about how at the soup swap, you found one small, dark green leaf in a big backyard and showed it to folks with pride and intense scrutiny. It made me think about your choice of a pumpkin at Halloween... the smallest white one you could find, in a field of big orange beauties, how your choice of a Christmas tree was the one that barely came up to your waist. I think this love of things that just fit into your palm drives you to pick up a horsechestnut most days we walk by a certain tree on the way to school (you can still occasionally find one... months later), and why I always find a small stash of rocks, sticks and bark chips in your pockets... or in mine. Thanks butternut, for making me smile.

memories and traditions and a big big smile

After the flurry of Christmas crafting and all of the winter business, I haven't actually made anything in a few weeks. However, on the note of a homemade life, I wanted to remember my Grandpa Jerry's funeral. I say a homemade life, not because Grandpa Jerry was crafty or handy with tools, but because he was very good at creating a good life. What was remembered the most at the funeral was Grandpa's good, calm nature and his smile... oh his glowing, iconic smile! Ryan also got up and remembered how Grandpa was rarely happier than if you would finish everything on your plate and he could load you up with seconds... thirds. As Ryan said, it wasn't apparent why that would make him so happy when we were kids, but upon reflection as he got older, it was because he was rarely happier than when he was providing for his family. Ry had more to say, but cut it short for composure. After putting that so perfectly, I may have to rattle him for the rest of his thoughts. Anyhow, there was a chinese ceremony at the wake, i likely won't see many more of these. Grandpa had food (tried really hard to get a RAW__ WASHED duck to include with his vegetarian meal, alas misunderstandings etc.. no duck, but I did see what may have been a turkey neck). The siblings each covered Grandpa with a blanket, and gave him a golf club, and much to Brian's shagrin, a rod with a broken eye... Wish we would have grabbed a different rod. Owen definitely saw that part, and was very sweet, and kind of matter-of-fact about the whole ceremony... basically he understood that Great-Grandpa was resting, and went away. O. thinks he's gone fishing, and that's okay, he said goodbye great-grandpa and that he loved him... then worried that Great-Grandpa needed "some rope on his pole". Some folks thought his candor was a good reminder and affirmation of life and legacy. Anyhow Grandpa also got a silver coin in his mouth, and the family each lit an incense stick and kow-towed (three bows). The siblings burned money for him. It was all quite lovely. we wore black arm bands, the grandkids had a little red tied to it. Grandma did really really well. Everyone got a white enveloppe with candy and a dime in it upon entry. The Candy to take the bitter taste of death away. The dime is supposed to be spent before going home that night. What else did I learn... not to drive direcly home, which is why we had dinner out both nights. Upon leaving the funeral, we receive a red-envelope. Adrianne and I were in charge of Grandpa's portrait (of him with a big fish and a smile), the Uncles escorted it outside of Uncle Dudley's sunroof from the church to the freeway (sorry grandpa, just couldn't leave the picture outside on the freeway). In the end, all of the funeral gear, gloves, armbands, a few flowers, were tossed in with Grandpa. You're not supposed to take any of the white envelopes or hang onto the red ones for any amount of time. Finally, the family all received a light which to hop over upon return to home... I think to keep any cemetary mojo outside of the home. It was all so interesting. However the biggest celebration of Grandpa Jerry's life.... which was documented not only in the ceremonies, the kind words, but in the masses of people who attended his funeral. The funeral director was estimating close to 500 people. All friends, loved ones who shook our hands, shed tears, had fond memories... of his generosity, of his smile.

a lifetime

My Grandpa Jerry, beloved patriarch, savvy entrepreneur, skilled fisherman and a well tanned golfer got his kids together about a year or so ago, after a diagnosis of cancer, and told them that he had had a good life. He told me around that time that he was proud of me and didn't have to worry any more about me now that I had my degree, that it was something that no one could take from me (he was apparently apprehensive when I got pregnant before finishing). I just wanted to remind myself of the last bit, but I think the realization of having a good life, to be happy with your adventures, your family and your loves is the point... of everything. He did have a good life, lived well, filled with a large loving family, world travels, great hobbies that he became great at... in general he did things with gusto, enthusiasm and with a clever mind. He was a good negotiator my grandfather, a leader, his friends called him "captain", he was a good man. I don't really need to go over his accomplishments, which are numerous, herein*, but I just want to remember to live life in a way that I too can say at the end of my days that I have lived a life worthy of a peaceful passing, a good life.

Well, heck, I just finished editing my great-grandpa's obituary. To keep tabs on it for the long haul, I'm going to just paste it here. Family history seems like something I want to hang on to so tightly with both hands. It so rarely gets written down.

Gerald Gong Loh

August 19, 1924 – December 30, 2008

Gerald Gong had, in his own words, a good life. His 85 years were filled with a large loving family, friends who were like family, great success in business, sportsmanship, and world travel. He embraced life with determination, enthusiasm and a clever mind.

Gerald was born in the village of Ping San, Fah Doh, Guangdong Province, China. He and his sister Anne Toy were the only children of Toy Sheong and Jun Yun.

At the young age of 8, Gerald immigrated to the United States with his father. He lived in San Francisco where he attended school and was active in the Chinese youth baksetball league, where he played forward. When he wasn't at school or baksetball, he worked at the Woey Luey Guey restaurant where he met the love of his life, Mary Fan.

Gerald worked at a meat market in Visalia, California in 1938-39 where he was introduced to the butcher trade. Returning to San Francisco in 1940 he returned to school and continued in what was to be his career in the meat and grocery industry. He moved to Tulare, California in 1942 where, along with several partners, he took over an existing meat market. Gerald was a leading member of the Central California Grocer’s Association.

In 1943 Gerald and Mary were married; they celebrated their 65^th wedding anniversary this December.

In 1944, their first of six children, Genevieve, was born. Soon thereafter, Gerald joined the United States Army. He served in the 96th infantry and trained as part of a Browning Automatic Rifle team he was aboard ship headed for the invasion of Japan when the war ended. He became part of the Occupation Forces and was transferred to the 50th Air Corps where he worked as a photographer and a chef in Japan until his discharge in 1946.

Returning to his family and his business he saw both grow dramatically over the years. Geralyne, Steven, Terri, Geary and Andy were all born in Tulare. In 1950 a grocery business was added to the meat market and in 1959 Gerald became sole owner of the Palace Market. In 1963 the Palace Supermarket was constructed and a few years later its success stimulated the construction of G&T Drugs operated by his nephews, David and Albert Toy. In 1995 a much larger operation, the Palace Food Depot was established.

Gerald’s first love was always his family but he had many other interests as well. Gerald was a great sportsman. His interest in Basketball never faded, as he rarely missed a game on television. An avid golfer, he played as a founding member of the Tulare Golf Club. He was also a skilled fisherman and embraced the opportunity to go on many grand fishing trips throughout the world.

Gerald was also a philanthropist. As a founding member of the Central California Chinese Cultural Center located in Visalia in 1990, he was a generous contributor, President ("Captain") and board member for over a decade. He served as a director of Fah Doh family association in San Francisco gaining the appointment for his business acumen and well known good character. Gerald was also involved for years with the Tulare County Farm Equipment Exposition, the largest in the world, by providing food services. As a member of the Kiwanas, he carried out charitable work in Tulare. After his first trip back to China in 1986, he developed a love for revisiting his birth country and eating lichee in summertime. He also contributed to the construction of a new school for his village in China.

Gerald succumbed to cancer after a lengthy battle. In addition to his wife, and 6 children, he is survived by 10 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. He will be greatly missed.

Children:

Genevieve Cheu and her husband Dudley of San Rafael

Geralyne Gong and her husband Mark Taylor of San Leandro

Steven Gong and his wife Jun of Tulare

Terri Larson and her husband Tom of Clovis

Geary Gong and his wife Kathy of Tulare

Andrew Gong of Tulare

Grandchildren:

Jason Cheu and his wife Anne of Novato

Adrianne Canfil of San Leandro

Derek Cheu and his wife Debbie of Brooklyn

Amy Larson and her husband Brian Steves of Portland

Ryan Larson of Las Vegas

Erin Taylor of Las Vegas

Eric Gong of Tulare

Sara Gong of Tulare

Brittany Gong of Tulare

Jordan Gong of Tulare

Great grandchildren:

Kaylee Cheu of Novato

Owen Steves of Portland

Kellen Cheu of Brooklyn

Clark Cheu of San Novato

In lieu of flowers the family request that donations be made to:

Chinese Cultural Center

500 S. Akers

Visalia, CA

Fah Yuen Assn

San Francisco

Great great aunties

My Grandma Jean came from a pretty good sized family that included two sisters who were prolifically crafty. Growing up, we always had hand embroidered towels from Aunt Esther and these perfect scrubbies from Aunt Myrtle... They have all passed away now, but I saw these at my Grandpa Em's house and couldn't resist the nostalgia and snapped a few pics. Mom asked Nancy's Dad's partner how to make the scrubbies (pshew) and has taught me... Mine aren't nearly as nice as Aunt Myrtle's , but I'm working on it.